Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
