You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
