Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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