Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Success! We fucked roommates!
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