I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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