suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
