After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
What a dumb baby whore.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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