I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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