I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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