I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
