Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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