Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
