Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
you had me at cake vodka
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
