is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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