There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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