mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Randomize
