She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
