Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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