Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
