Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
