so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
