Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
