she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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