11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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