Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
