on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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