I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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