There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
