woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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