I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
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we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
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HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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