i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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