Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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