dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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