I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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