The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
