He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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