Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
