A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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