Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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