No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
