'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
this is an emotional support booty call
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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