sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
