Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
my liver is dry heaving
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
