Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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