I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
