If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize