my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
