So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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