how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
