If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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