Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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