Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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