just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
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