people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
