i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Four minutes until I can fart!
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
