The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Randomize
