I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
