You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
