Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize