I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize