Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
