Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
