My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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